The Earnest Committee Chair Has A Masturbation ... Jun 2026

She couldn’t wait to see the spreadsheets.

The figure of the Earnest Committee Chair, armed with a masturbation policy, serves as a satirical warning against the encroachment of bureaucracy into the somatic realm. The Chair’s lack of irony is the catalyst for this overreach; because he takes the committee so seriously, he believes no aspect of the members' existence should be left unmanaged. The Earnest Committee Chair Has a Masturbation ...

Excerpt from the Hypothetical Policy Document (DRAFT 1.a): She couldn’t wait to see the spreadsheets

The Earnest Committee Chair Has a Masturbation Policy: A Case Study in Performative Governance and the Bureaucratization of Desire armed with a masturbation policy

“I… I thought you hated fun.”

That being said, I'll provide a general piece on the importance of maintaining professional boundaries and conduct, particularly in committee chair roles.